Boys will be Boys or How not to be a Male Model

I spent the day at the beach recently with 7 beautiful women and two handsome men. While this sounds like the set up for a kinky spring break or a “Dear Penthouse” story…it isn’t.  Sorry to disappoint. It was really just a photo shoot for a new up and coming art photography studio that I do some work for now and then.

Several of the models were new to being in photo shoots and this was to be a learning experience but the ladies took to it quickly and with much grace. The men however…..well…..they were ….ehh…  not so graceful?

It started with the first pose, a huge group shot with everyone in it,all packed in nice and close. We had a line of pose balls to get on and ever single one of the pose balls was called “Hers”.  Now admittedly some of the poses were pretty girly, but others were not and after trying a couple different balls I had one that worked for me. Meanwhile my fellow men were having some serious set backs with this situation.

“I can’t pose on a girl’s ball” stated one.

“I am not posing next to another guy, I am not gay” griped another.

“This makes me look gay.” complained the first  having  apparently risked his manhood by trying a girls ball.

After a few minutes of this, i gave my pose to the one that was sure he looked gay so he would hopefully settle, shut up and let us the photo started. As soon as I took the pose he had left he hollered, “Ha! Now you look gay!” Maybe it was his way of saying thanks?   “Well I am gay so that is fine by me”  I  quipped thus earning  several charming giggles from the girls and at least a few minutes of shocked homophobic silence  from the men. At last a break for the poor photographer to work in. It was too good to last.

“EWwwww Candi just farted on my leg!” says the dark haired hunk who I had swapped poses with. Everyone laughed and LOLed and he took that as approval to continue. He told us how it smelled. He told us how it felt.  He told us he can tell when a girl is pregnant by how her farts smell….and so on….and so on….and so on.

Now gentlemen, let me tell you something about fart humor in mixed company over the age of thirteen. One, just one  _well timed_ fart joke can be very funny, a second one can be a little amusing … sometimes. Get onto three and four fart jokes and people start to wonder just what is wrong with you. More then that most people are just wishing someone somewhere would slap a muzzle on you.  Another thing to note, discussing the tone, fragrence and quality of a woman’s passing of gas, be it real or imagined… is not likely to win the heart of the fair lady.

Now I am not a lady but I do know the sort of things I find charming when said by a man  and I suspect that none of these other amusing comments I heard during the shoot was going to win female hearts either. Smooth lines like…..

“Man you got a nice ass!”

“Hey…lets do this shot with all the girls naked”

“That suit would look better topless.’

Thru all of this, every girl in the group was pleasant, professional and polite even to the men when they were at their silliest and it really was a fun afternoon in front of the cameras.  In the spirit of this post and because I am a guy too after all.. I have to show you one photo from the shoot.

Notice where the hand of the girl beside me is? Maybe it was a “Dear Penthouse” worthy day after all.

beach1

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2 Responses to “Boys will be Boys or How not to be a Male Model”

  1. slerybygenie Says:

    *laughs hugely*
    Oh Goddess, it reminds me of Flip’s ultimate convo… ‘How not to court Flip’. And they wonder why they can’t get a date?!?

  2. You are much braver than I, I would have been in someones IM “HELP ME”~grins~

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