Introverted Style

introvert-care

I am an introvert.

It is commonly felt that a person should want  to have lots of friends and make these friendships easily, you should greet new experiences enthusiastically and quickly and brag about yourself and your skills to any who will listen.  Anyone who doesn’t fit this pattern is often looked at with concern or worse,  just overlooked entirely. I get overlooked fairly often and I can’t blame people  for doing so really. It takes time to get to know me and meanwhile the  extroverts sparkle so bright and talk so well that a quiet man will nearly always get lost in their din. Besides, I am in love with an extrovert and I know how much fun they can be.

You can’t always tell that I am one of these solitary minded souls. When writing in my blog I can share.  One on one in conversation on a topic I care about, I can be dazzling and quick. My wit is sharp, my humor bright. Get me into a group  however,  or ask me to talk about myself and pfff….it all just melts away. Even though I know I am very intelligent,  I just murmur what ever inane thing  it takes to get the spotlight back off of me.

Its not that I am shy or lack in confidence, in fact just the opposite is true. I know I am talented, I am proud of my keen mind and sarcastic wit, confident of my artistic skills and I am _very sure_ my avatar is drop dead sexy. I also know I am one of the best male clothing designers on Second life. Just don’t ask me to say that in front of people, it feels like bragging and it makes me uncomfortable.

All this comes up today because of something I did recently that pushed me several steps out of my comfort zone. I joined one of those “Men of the Year” contests. I must stress that was not my idea. A friend i respect a great deal showed me the contest and thought I would be a great fit for it. It was so flattering to be noticed like that…..that well…. i took the leap and I entered. The first step was easy….take a photo of yourself and try to get your very best sexy side, I aced that part. I am good at photography. Writing the paragraph explaining why you thought you were worthy to take part, now that was a lot harder to do. I have not real desire to try and sound better then anyone else. I know I babbled something about red hair, introverts and not paying much mind to who is who the fashion world. I figured it was like the blog, nobody ever reads that stuff anyway right?

Much to my surprise, I made it into the top ten!  Really?! Me??!  I am fairly sure that a possible “Man of the Year” is not suppose to squeal like that, so lets just say when i got the news i did a 15 minute, very restrained happy dance around my workshop. Then i realized……i had to do a live on the spot interview. No idea what the questions were going to be and I would have to answer them right away, no think time. Oh. Crap. So much for the happy dance, this was the stuff i dread.

Lets just say the interview was not great. I did not sparkle once….at least as far as I could tell. What could i do for the company?  What makes me different from the other guys? What would you do with a time machine? (really?)  ect.  I gave answers but I just felt weird and exposed as i sat there and tried to get something good to come out. I had Nothing.  For the next two days  after the interview I was playing the “What I should have said was….” game and you know that never makes you feel any better.

What I could have said…if I had the time I needed to ponder, think and observe as we introverts like…..would be this.

What makes me stand out is the fact that I am just uniquely and perfectly me, with my flaws, my talents and my rough blatant honesty. I am slow to choose, slow to speak and slow to love, but when i do make up my mind about something or someone I am steadfast and loyal to the end.  When I care, i do it with all my heart and all my energy. Your company could do no better then to have me represent it, because if you could make me believe in it and what it stands for, then i would be with you and that company thru good and bad times. All the while the slow burning creative fire and redheaded tenacity that is my core personality would slowly but surely light an equal belief in anyone that came in contact with me. One person at a time, Introvert style.

I don’t know if I have won or lost. I suspect I lost….but either way I doubt i will change my life much. My own extrovert entered too and as always, he charmed them with his sparkling conversation. I suspect he will place top five, maybe even win and I really hope he does.  I don’t mind staying behind and watching him shine because to at least one guy, I am already man of the year.

after

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